I have driven down highways in southern Brazil, for hours, past fields of abacaxi of a vastness incomprehensible to people who don’t know of the largeness of the southern skies. And yet the best pineapple I’ve ever had has been bought in a plastic punnet box in a supermarket in England. I am profoundly ashamed of this, and of the fact that I probably am a distant relative of some of the people responsible for it.
I’m pretty sure the Germans have a word for that feeling you get when you realise the true answer to OkCupid’s “what are you doing on a typical Friday night” is “cleaning the bathroom”.
It’s the contrapositive of schadenfreude.
— Amazon customer review for “Wolf Urine Lure-32 oz”.
BT engineer came and went. I now have broadband! And, anachronistically, an actual phone line. The engineer didn’t tell me my phone number. I could call my mobile and find out, only I don’t have a phone. The BT shop asks me for my phone number to sell me one.